The Traveller

'If you wish to be a Princess on your journey

You forfeit your right to be a Princess for eternity'

(Simple Reflections - Quratul Ayn)

Decision making

Its almost late night and I’m still confused. The air is brittle with frustration, and the smell of burning oil impinge on my nose. Perhaps I should think about things tomorrow morning when I will be more alert, fresh and ready for a new start. But it seems like ages before tomorrow will arrive. I can’t wait, and as usual, my thoughts run away with me. I’m totally baffled. At times like this, I wish I didn’t have to make so many decisions. I just wish that my decisions were made for me as they always have been.

But, as life goes on, and we grow older, our responsibilities also grow. I’m beginning to realise this, and though time may make us appear older, it doesn’t always mean we grow wiser. I close my nose so that the smell of the oil is banished. And I then remember reading,

According to Bukhari, Volume 2, Book 21, Number 263:
Narrated Jabir bin 'Abdullah
“The Prophet (Salallahu Alaihi Wasallam) would teach us al-istikhara for all of our affairs as he would teach us a surah from the Qur’an. He said: ‘If one of you is deliberating over an act, he should pray two non-obligatory rak’at and say:

“O Allah! I ask guidance from Your knowledge, and Power from Your Might and I ask for Your great blessings. You are capable and I am not. You know and I do not and You know the unseen. O Allah! If You know that this affair -and here he mentions his need- to be good for me in relation to my religion, my life and end, – (or said: If it is better for my present and later needs)–then You ordain it for me and make it easy for me, and then bless me in it, and if You know that this affair is harmful to me towards my religion, my life and end–(or said: If it is worse for my present and later needs)–then keep it away from me and let me be away from it. And ordain for me whatever is good for me, and make me satisfied with it.”

I have known that Allah SWT always helps His servants when they are need, and many, many times when I have faltered, I have witnessed even the smallest sign that Allah SWT has not forsaken me, and has in fact given me the answer to my question, to my confused state of mind.

And thus, Alhamdulillah, my thoughts take a positive turn. If I truly love Allah SWT and His Rasool SAW as I say I do, then truly I have to believe that their promise is true. Without this yaqeen (faith), I cannot possibly expect Allah SWT’s mercy or help. Thus, I realise as I read the dua’ again, that I need to remind myself of the minuteness of my being. I need to remember that without the will of Allah SWT, nothing can occur. And so, even what I may doubt to be good for me, may actually be for my best. What confusion I feel will be removed if I place my trust in Allah SWT, my Lord, my Rabb.

Now, I challenge myself – how dare I be frustrated about a decision, any decision, for that matter. I am a servant of Allah SWT. I roam the earth only by His decree, and therefore, will receive only what He knows is best for me. Whilst a traveller, I must only carry two provisions, and that too only in my heart and actions. The firm yaqeen in Allah SWT (and of course, therefore, His word, the Qur’an) and the Sunnah of His habeeb SAW. These two will suffice in all aspects of my life.

When we dwindle down the path of frustration
Turmoil befriends us and we slacken
Our Ibaadah becomes only mild pronunciation
And our heartbeats now have no reason

At times like this, my heart cries
That my Eternal Love will free my sighs
Carry me where I should fly
Amongst the other birds who feel the sky

And so, I bow my head low
Feeling the anger seep down below
Raising the banner of hope and peace
Sowing what Allah had helped us reap

And then, silent as the sleeping river
Inner turmoil recedes

Bismillahirahmaaniraheem

Assalamua-alaykum.w.w.

May this venture to spread what little good I can, insha'Allah be accepted from me and may whoever reads it be benefitted. Ameen.

One reason why I created a blog was becuase I realised how well some sisters have managed to keep blogs and create a space where they can collect their thoughts - reminding us of our duty to and relationship with Allah SWT. Being inspired by their words and knowing through my own love of reading what power words have on people, I hope that by connecting through our human bond, we can gain a better understanding of each other and our world through our words insha'Allah. And thus,

In the name of Allah, the Most Beneficient, The Most Merciful,

I begin...